Thought about blogging to help get a few things off my chest.....
As a woman who has infertility issues there are a number of things that go through my mind.
....There are days I feel so empty inside that nothing seems to fill that void, and then there are days that the emptiness doesn't seem quite so bad.
Of course, there is nothing more hurtful to me than the jealousy I sometimes feel for women who can get pregnant without even thinking about it....I hate feeling that way but on the other hand I am truly happy for the women having babies that are going to be wonderful mothers.
There are days where I have to literally drag myself out of bed to go to work because there are so many women there who have just had their babies or are pregnant right now. I also feel bad about this.
July would have been the month I was due had our IVF cycle worked so it has been extremely hard to function day to day.
As I write all this I know that in all honesty my life is wonderful. I have an amazing husband, a mother who would go to the ends of the earth for me, an amazing man who has been like a father to me, a wonderful sister, beautiful nieces, friends that I would do anything for....many many things to be thankful for they can not be counted. I do not take these things for granted, and I never will, so please don't get my longing for a child or this blog wrong.
I know that having a child is my number one dream. People sometimes ask me "Why don't you just travel the world?" I would love to travel the world and have 5 sports cars, but not more than having a child to give all my love unconditionally and share my life with.
There are the ramblings of an infertile woman. Hope everyone enjoys it.
--- Erin ---
Erin,
ReplyDeleteI can 100% relate to you. It seems everyone we went to school with has children or are about to have children and the people at work have babies and its the natural cycle of life. I have infertility issues as well in a different form, but the experience is heartbreaking and the jealousy is completely normal even if you feel bad, you know why it exists and even though it happens, you can still be happy for another person. You have a big heart and when it is meant to be, your dream will come true, even if it is not as soon as you would desire it.